I'm blogging bitches

Orlando Pulse Club Shooting 

The whole Orlando Pulse club shooting disgusts me, and saddened me, as I hope somewhere it has triggered a similar feeling within you too for every time this happens on this planet. There are numerous discussion triggered whenever such tragedies occur, most of them are about political agendas vs genuine concern for human life, yet some how the political agendas trumps the conversations. 
I'm not writing you today to drum up debates of any sort. I would just like to share with you something I wrote; this piece came to me after reading about a young man, Eddie Justice who texted his mother while he hid in a bathroom stall, right before he was killed by the gunman. 

How do you spend your final moments before your killer murders you in cold blood? 
That's chilled from fearing for your life unable to find warmth 
Seeking refuge in a bathroom stall in the club when you were just at the bar minutes earlier partying enjoying alcohol 
Where bullets gone airborne made it the last call 
House music pumping in a pulse dancing in a frenzy as the beat goes on 
Hearts stopped by a nefarious force of self loathing thoughts 
When good times are driven off course into a bloodbath, splattered carnage, slaughtered gore, a massacre 
I now become aware 
these are the reasons to be prideful for 
LIVE! 
Because since birth you're forced to hide who you are as if your preference is a curse that's infectious to those who don't understand yours 
LIVE! 
Shake off the forced shame under a disco ball spawned from a judgmental father who feels he needs to find someone or something to blame for the way you are 
LIVE! 
Sing songs to drown out the sounds of those who believe you're living your life wrong 
Who are willing to extinguish your light like murder isn't a transgression 
like being human is dependent on the validation of others, so you're singled out as if you don't belong 
LIVE! 
Wear your pride loud with such delightful jubilation in radiant fashions 
When the life you live has always been threatened for generations 
Even I've been guilty of not understanding the reasoning for the celebration 
How do you spend your final moments before your killer murders you in cold blood? 
You text your mother horrified, 
"Mommy I love you... 
Trapp in bathroom... 
He’s coming... 
I'm gonna die...".

Fundraisers & Festivals 

Greetings Family, Friends, and fans, hope you all aren't doing too much but are doing enough. This is just your friendly neighborhood favorite licorice flavored lyricist, Femi the Drifish letting you know when and where the next Out of Water eXperience sightings will be. Both upcoming events will be well attending and for sure a grand time, one thought is a fundraiser for a worthy cause so please read below for those details. The other is just part of the Summer beginnings of festival season, which is my favorite time of the year as a musician, when playing outdoor shows on raised stages, sea of audience, and the I hope sun beaming down on me while we play LIVE. 

Saturday, May 28th 

The Book Thing Thing- A Benefit to Rebuild the Baltimore Book Thing 

@ the Peabody Heights Brewery, LLC 

401 E 30th St, Baltimore, Maryland 21218 
For those who don't know, The Book Thing of Baltimore burned down on March 2nd of this year. This is/was a place that took in unwanted books and placed them into the hands of those who want them. 
With the combined efforts of Friends Records and WLOY Loyola Radio, a music festival fundraiser has been organized to raise money to restore the burned down establishment and The Out of Water Experience are among many of the performers of that day. 
Saturday, May 28th from noon to 8pm, The Out of Water eXperience will take the stage from 6 to 7pm on the WLOY stage. 
Tickets are $12 in advance, $15 at the door. 
Direct Ticket Sales on MissionTix: TIX FOR BOOKTHING THING BENEFIT 

Sunday, May 29th 
SOWEBO FESTIVAL 
Hollins Street Market Area 
Baltimore's always free and utterly unique Arts and Music Festival surrounding historic Hollins Market is well on it's way for a great Memorial Weekend (Sunday, May 29) day of fun. We still inviting volunteers who live and breath music, visual art, and children's activities. 

The Out of Water eXperience will be playing the Sowebo Festival on May 29th at 3pm on the Hollins St. Stage. 

http://www.soweboarts.org/music_16_3.html 

Looking forward as usual to seeing familiar faces in the audience and making new connection with new fans to our music we will meet on those days. 

Femi the Drifish

VOTE LOUD, Tuesday, April 26th at the Side Bar 

Its safe to say that this election is one of those that will be remembered for generations to come, not just because of the entertainment provided by the "Trump effect", or the intensity of "feel the Bern", but because this is one of those elections where even the two dominant parties are being challenged to evolve to meet the times.

With that said, this Tuesday is the Maryland primary elections and they say, "every vote counts". I'm not writing this to tell you who to vote for, that is your own prerogative, but I do encourage all to take those moments available to vote for whoever you deem fit, especially those who have had generation historical experiences of being forbidden to vote such as minorities and women. This isn't just about the Presidency, there are way more individuals running for office than just the White House main seat, and dare I say probably the most important positions are in the supporting positions such as the Senate, Congress all the way down to your City Council person, District Representative.



So YEAH! Feed The Scene, Artists Compound, and Black Rose Metal Heart bring you Vote Loud: a grassroots voter initiative movement generated by the music and entertainment scenes in Baltimore, Maryland.

So in addition to voting on this coming Tuesday, April 26th there will be LIVE MUSIC for you the voter playing that evening
At The Sidebar
218 E Lexington St, Baltimore, MD 21202
Doors: 8pm | Tix: FREE** | 18+
**Admission restricted to those who vote in the MD Primary, YOU MUST BRING YOUR I VOTED STICKER**
Concert series benefits the JDilla Foundation.

The Out of Water eXperience will be playing along with various Rock bands such as; 
Omnislash
https://www.facebook.com/OmnislashBand, A Sound of Thunder https://www.facebook.com/ASoundOfThunder, and Sekengard
https://www.facebook.com/Sekengard


See you guys TONIGHT, Represent Lovely and Rock ON!
Fish signing out

ANARTKEY Music & Lyrics is this Saturday, April 9th 


Greetings from music unorthodox land, where artistic expression knows no bounds be it sonically in your ear or physically at a live show getting busy on stage.
ANARTKEY Music & Lyrics is here, hosted by Femi the Drifish
This Saturday, April 9th is the date,
218 West Saratoga St., Baltimore is the place (14 Karat Cabaret).
Doors open at 8pm

Allow me to introduce the acts for the night;
THAYLOBLEU. They are a Washington DC punk rock, hard rock, alternative rock, and probably the first rockers to throw a rock in a riot. Peep their music, and live performances at,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijf1iqsPlJw
OLD EASTERN. If The Black Keys, Nirvana, Foo Fighters, WolfMother, and The Black Crowes had a love child, their offspring would be this whiskey-rock Baltimore band known as “Old Eastern”.
You can check out some of their tunes right here by clicking this link,
https://oldeastern.bandcamp.com

DUSTIN NISPEL. Dustin is an award winning spoken word artist hailing from York Pennsylvania. He is the author of The Tower through Poemsugar Press. Dustin also represented the USA at the International Poetry Festival in Macedonia in 2015.
Checkout Dustin Nispel's spokenword video WHITE BOI by clicking this link,
http://youtu.be/aidfnyUPvkc

Headlining ANARTKEY Music & Lyrics on Sat, April 9th will be The Out of Water eXperience. This band of misfit mutant mayhem makers consists of,
Maurice Carroll, Nick Taylor, Chuck the Mad Ox, Shaun Riley, Chris Cee, Femi the Drifish, and special a guest vocalist soon to be announced. Come check us out with some new tunes, and a high level energetic show like no other.
www.ANARTKEYMUSIC.com
Looking forward to seeing you all in the place to be tomorrow.

 

NEW MUSIC, FREE DOWNLOAD, SHARE!!! 



If you click on the picture above this text, it will take you all the way to where you are able to listen to our two new full band recorded music singles; MOTH and Suicide Immortals that were recorded late last year at Mobtown Studio's in Baltimore, MD.

MOTH is the song I wrote over a year ago, first simply as a poem out of a conversation I had with my son who challenged me by saying, "why are butterflies considered beautiful but not moths when they're practically the same thing?". I scribbled about it for days and eventually developed MOTH as a metaphor for those who don't fit societies standards due to either physical attributes, financial status, lovers preference, skin tones, and even just being an individual that marches to a different drum. At first the song was called Kill A Moth but once Maurice developed the music that I was satisfied with, it no longer felt like a Kill A Moth type of song, so I channeled down to just MOTH. Gotta thank Kissi B, and Christen B for the wonderful vocals on the chorus.

Suicide Immortals was a song that I wrote at a time that I felt like I wanted to exit performing, exit doing my art, plugging into the matrix and getting steady income. Its the song I wanted to leave as my final journal entry as Femi the Drifish in hopes its discovered 100's of years from now in a post apocalyptic waste land. This is how I want to be remembered through my ability to purge, through witty metaphors, swinging punchlines, intense anguish, and candidness that even wounds me during the expression. Brian Tru actually provided me with a track that I was able to match with the lyrics I wrote but when recording with a live band the track didn't translate, thus Maurice with the aid of Spyda and KP were able to offer an interpretation that is best suited for a live sound and stage show. Oh yeah, I got Kristin Lagana of Victims of Experience on the chorus, and she brought it.

https://soundcloud.com/outofwaterx
Shout out to everyone who played on these songs; Chris Carroll on drums, Shaun Riley on bass, Chuck the Mad Ox on vocal percussion and cowbell, Nick Taylor on guitar, and of course Maurice Carroll on keys and musical arrangement and all the other consulting needed done musically.
Also my main man Rafael Anderson for these awesome graphics for everything promotional as of lately.

So the new songs are out there for the listening, now you've got to come to our show and see us play  them live, along with a whole set of music, energy and a good ole time.
So come on down, Saturday, April 9th. 218 West Saratoga Street, Baltimore MD.
ANARTKEY Music & Lyrics
ft: The Out of Water eXperience, Old Eastern, Thaylobleu, & Dustin Nispel
Click link for $7 advance tickets https://squareup.com/market/femi-the-drifish-and-the-out-of-water-experience/anartkey-music-lyrics
$10 at the door
.





 

Reemerge from out of outta water 



Its been a long time since last time we took the stage, 7 months to be exact. We've been laying low a bit, cooking some, chilling a lot, being a fan, looking for inspiration, and properly channeling waiting for the right moment to emerge. 
With that, I'd like to announce that we are ready to take the stage like we're robbing the concert space, ready to rock until there's an avalanche and bring you some new tunes to add to the already enchanting energy show we always give you. Get your discount advance tickets early, online or from Femi the Drifish in person. 

Saturday, April 9th
ANARTKEY MUSIC & LYRICS 
The 14th Karat Cabaret 
218 West Saratoga Street, Baltimore, MD 
Come dressed in your post apocalyptic gear, no Kanye wear though 
$7 advance tix at
www.AnArtKeyMusic.com/home 
or just click https://squareup.com/market/femi-the-drifish-and-the-out-of-water-experience/anartkey-music-lyrics 
$10 at the door 
Hosted by Femi the Drifish 
Returning to a stage near you from a 7 month hiatus is the Soul-Lyrical-HipHop-Funk-Rock band, The Out of Water eXperience. 
Bringing with them are a couple of friends that rock in their own ways, with their own sound using instruments and vocals to inspire, to uplift, to entertain, to unleash all the pink elephants in the room and burn up the stage. 
Poet, Dustin Nispel (York PA) 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aidfnyUPvkc 
https://www.facebook.com/dustin.nispel 
Old Eastern (Baltimore/PA) 
https://oldeastern.bandcamp.com/ 
https://www.facebook.com/OldEastern 
Thaylobleu (Washington DC) 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vuj79LgxOf8 
https://www.facebook.com/Thaylobleu/ 
The Out of Water eXperience 
www.AnArtKeyMusic.com/home

White Privilege 2, the review.   



Saul Williams: "I don't know what to say about something like that, on the one hand I think the intentions are there. Its another thing to utilize that privilege to talk about privilege, to bank off of that privilege, and earn off that privilege is, while you talk about that privilege. That's part of the elements of the system, if an artist like myself (colored/ minority) gets up and starts talking about privilege, then its like "okay, we've heard this before", then you hear someone else who is classified as white talk about it, then they're like "oh, this is the most progressive thing ever"." 

That was a quote from Saul Williams on Sway in the Morning. I listened to his interview today, which as usual is a great interview to listen to and discuss afterwards, whether you agree or disagree with his points of view. 

That quote in particular made me realize that I hadn't heard Macklemore and Ryan Lewis new song, White Privilege 2. So hours later from listening to Saul Williams on Sway in the Morning I gave it a spin. First of all, I'm gonna say that I'm a fan of Macklemore, not like a superfan or a groupie that wants to give him some ass, but I respect his penmanship, lyrical ability to convey his views, creative concepts and execution of his songs and just because he's not popping bottle in the club or talking about his guns or some ole chaotic shit, dude isn't whack. I don't own any of his albums but I have always checked out his videos on youtube for insight, although my sister old roommate bumped his first album none stop for weeks when it came out, R.I.P Sylvia Ortiz. Macklemore writes his rap songs with the approach of a Slam Poet does a topic, and seems to rap in a similar manner, and because of that, I get him as an artist. 

I knew Macklemore was gonna do a song like this, he seems to know how to bank on the right moments and address certain issues. With his last album it was the Same Love song which addressed gay marriage/ marriage equality, and now for this upcoming album its the White Privilege 2 that addresses police brutality, Black Lives Matter Movement, a white person's place within that movement and of course, white privilege. Shit, he even addressed his position in benefiting in these lines:

"The face of hip hop has changed a lot since Eminem 
And if he's taking away black artists' profits I look just like him 
Claimed a culture that wasn't mine, the way of the American"

and

"And I speak freely when I write this 
If a black emcee examined race there goes half their fan base, white kids 
And this is so true. and we didn't even have to fight the system 
We just went and picked up the microphone too 
And we got good at it so we should be rapping 
But only supporting them is like burning Jimmy and buying Clapton 
Now Clapton's incredible. but no Jimmy no foundation"

 

I totally understood the song but I don't like it, or maybe I should say that I didn't care for it. Don't get me wrong, I appreciated that he's talking to his own people about the plight of another race that they inflicted the trauma on and are still benefiting from. That's a whole conversation on its own but this nation never publicly acknowledges its true history because this country has to remain looking good, like its not at fault for any wrong doings to any race ever even though history proves otherwise, it'll ruin America's marketing scheme. To me he comes off waaaaay tooooo politically correct for me to embrace, even for a positive message standpoint. Thrift shop was his most clever song, he had a song about wearing Jordans that I really honestly embraced because he came from all angles, which I must confess while writing this is what he did with the song White Privilege 2 but I just didn't feel it. I've listened to it 3 times and read the lyrics, which is a well constructed written song perspective but it just didn't translate to me as strong, more like calculated, more like clever, more like this is what I'll do to make black folks accept me, I dunno. I've heard Eminem say similar things in his rhymes that translated more authentically especially in the beginning of his career, but a lot of Eminem's meaningful lyrics have always been overlooked because of his outlandish lyrical content, concepts and language.

Overall, I guess his song will reach the folks that won't listen to black artists and activists who are saying the exact same thing. Maybe it'll spark a conversation among white folks in a manner that others of African decent have been unsuccessful in sparking without the whole, "not this race thing again" rolling of the eyes response. It sucks because, no one will believe the victims until a representative of the victimizers stands up for them, does that make any sense?


Saul Williams interview


Macklemore and Ryan Lewis White Privilege song on youtube

/
  1. BE FREE (J Cole REMIX)

Loving and caring mother grab son off the street in the mist of the Baltimore Riot 

In your intellectual analysis as you're able to position yourself outside of that particular moment of the situation, you're able to frown from your birds eye view while looking down on the single mother of 6 to say what she should or shouldn't have done in order to remove her son from the real harms way. Tell me what you would have done instead if you had instructed your teenage son to not attend whatever gathering that on Monday afternoon that eventually became a riot? Give me your strategical approach to when you arrived at the mall where police officers were in full riot gear and students were hurling rocks at them and you're scanning the mass of children trying to spot your child in fear that the cops would retaliate and your son could possibly be among the victims of such a prepared force that possibly wouldn't consider that they're engaging children since they treat the youth like adult in lesser situations on regular basis. Inform me of how you'd repress your fear, frustration, confusion, & anger when somehow without x-ray vision you're able to spot your son through all the mayhem, him wearing all black in a hoodie AND full face mask reveling only his eyes? Your son is taller than you and is a male, and is fueled with whatever it is that the rest of his peers are fueled with that is putting them at odds with cops, exactly what would you do to get him to come home with you in the heat of the moment? Its amazing how we can assess a situation and declare how much better we are without being in the moment, or some of y'all running you're mouths don't even have children to even begin to imagine being in a similar situation.
I've never like hearing women say that they're the mother and the father of a child in the absence of the father. I usually just say that you're a mother, you can't be a father without the male aspect. Yet, pretty much  in this one case (and many like it) she had to establish dominance on her disobedient rebellious son and unfortunately she used what force she had, even though at his size the only reason why he eventually went with her was because clearly he still had the respect and fear of his parental figure and not because he was hurt, maybe he was a  bit embarrassed too. How can't You see a parents love and care in the toughest of situations? I've read throughout today and yesterday that she was wrong for what she did, but NOT ONE soul has said what they had done when they were faced with a similar situation, only what she shouldn't have done as they're completely removed from every single variety of emotions she was plagued with in those moments. Black people worried about how white people will view us, like those that do view us in any negative aspect even have an actual reason why they view us as such.

 

Wonderland-Speakerbox-OrganicSoul-Revolution 

WONDERLAND:
THE 5th L (The DriFish & David "NativeSon" Ross) are still unleashing poetry, rhymes with abstract style, one time for your mind with this new video WONDERLAND. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoGbsbPXeP8 WATCH-LIKE-SHARE-REPEAT

DOWNLOAD AUDIO FOR FREE AT https://soundcloud.com/outofwaterx/wonderland-ft-david-ross
Produced by The Ruf
SPEAKERBOX:
THE SPEAKERBOX OPEN MIC with special guest TAALAM ACEY is this Saturday, April 25th The Living Well, 2443 North Charles Street, Baltimore, MD


ORGANIC SOUL TUESDAY:
-Organic Soul Revolution-Bring Spring Edition is this Tuesday, April 28th at the Downtown Cultural Arts Center, 401 N Howard St, Baltimore, Maryland 21201























 

"If skills sold, truth be told..." 

"If skills sold, truth be told, I'd probably be
Lyrically Talib Kweli
Truthfully I wanna rhyme like Common Sense
But I did 5 mill' - I ain't been rhyming like Common since" Jay Z

Each one of J Cole's album have sold over 700,000 copies and last year he was the highest sold HipHop artist beating Iggy Azalea, Rick Ross, Nikki Minaj and a host of other big name commercial rap artists by a lot. I mention this because there is a myth that unless you're talking only about drug sales, money & clothes, popping bottles, and naked hoes you can't sell records. Even Kendrick Lamar's Good Kid Mad City sold platinum quietly (not sure on his current album numbers yet) which put him in competition with the big numbers Macklemore sold last year. I guess when you have more important things to say within your art you don't have time to brag about riches, drugs and bitches and you can still make money if you're bold enough to be true to you and challenging in your art. www.AnArtKeyMusic.com/home

 

BEFREE OWX REMIX & ARTS IN EDUCATION 

Greetings family, friends and fans of Femi the DriFish & The Out of Water eXperience (OWX). I hope this new email from our new email server meets you with warmness on this colder than a polar bears toe nails type day here in Maryland.
I do believe this is our first email of the year, and its been quit a bit since last we have sent an email. Well we've got a give away, we've got upcoming shows, and we've got a thing or two to let you know today.


First and foremost, on December 10, 2014, HipHop artist, J. Cole appeared on David Letterman. The intention was to promote his new album, “2014 Forest Hills Drive”. Instead J Cole captivated the audience by performing “Be Free”. Be Free is a social injustice war cry set in the platform of music. Having experienced this movement, we created an interpretation of their own “Be Free”. Paying homage to the original idea and intent of the J Cole version, OWX created an edgy version that not only included singing, as did the original, but also featured a clever non traditional style of spoken word that addresses social issues and calls for thought about social change. You can listen to our version right here and if you'd be so kind share it on your social networks to keep the conversation going. To listen to the OWX BE FREE REMIX Link or above picture: https://soundcloud.com/outofwaterx/be-free-owx-remix2

BE FREE OWX REMIX is one of several singles we plan on releasing this first quarter of the year as creativity is bubbling currently. We are still the Hip Hop Alternative Rock band you know and love with a poetic twist, bringing you that high energy performance, in your face against the grain style and an enjoyable experience. You can hear and see us LIVE on Monday March 9th at 98Rock's Noise in the Basement, hosted by Matt David at the Ottobar, 2549 North Howard st. Baltimore, MD.

For my teachers and administrators in education, many of you know that I've always been involved in bringing arts into the schools. I am still doing such work and now available for booking through Young Audiences for middle & high school assemblies & extended poetry, creative writing, performance residencies (workshops). Over the past year, I have attended a variety of trainings, workshops and conferences where I learned to enhance my skills as a teaching artist and merged my art with classroom academics. I create lesson plans that correspond with the teacher's current subject matter and meet Common Core Standards. I am available for booking between now and the end of the school year, so please help me spread the word to those that you may know. Thank you. To Book Femi the DriFish for your school just click this link
, http://www.yamd.org/artist/femi-drifish/


 

Who watches the watchers? BE FREE  

Next week, Femi the Drifish & The Out of Water eXperience (OWX) will be releasing our latest song, the J Cole inspired remix to his song BeFree. I remember seeing J Cole perform live on David Letterman in December 2014, with a passion filled display of his version of the song that isn't even on the current album that he was supposedly promoting. Cole's song spawned from the Mike Brown killing in Ferguson that resulted with no indictment, which was the same situation with Eric Garner who was strangled to death by police in NYC over him selling loosies (individual cigarettes).

The lack of apathy America has for these situations is what my definition of being savage is, when a man is strangled live on camera completely defenseless, and there are not only people who support the killer but there are people who are angry at the people who are angry at the wrongful killing. Like if the each member of the police department or their supporters experienced a family member being strangled to death, wouldn't they to be just as furious, or is it as long as its done by a cop then its justified because law officials are flawless beings? Being rational, I can fathom that there are always different points of views based on our bias, because we are unable to just view one another as human beings first, it has to always come down to finding a way to separate one another from the whole to justify our feelings towards one another, as if we all aren't guilty of something that comes with being a human being.

Mike Brown's killer made about 500K in crowd funding from those who supported him when he was on paid leave anyway (he wasn't broke) and he was never indicted, and then ABC paid him 500K to interview him, so basically he has been championed for killing an unarmed man and handsomely rewarded with a cool million dollars, what kind of message is being sent to us and to law officials? Shoot defenseless individuals, hope and pray it makes the news and it'll be like hitting the lotto, because thats a mockery of life that is being sold in my "bias" point of view. I'm in no way saying all police or the law officials are corrupt, because to say all would justify the same stereotypes that are applied on people with skin color like mine, or gender and so on, but when those who are paid to uphold the law, serve and protect are protected by the law when they break them, because its assumed the police are in the right instead of viewing them as individual human beings who make decisions first regardless of their career choice, I call bullshit. 

I'm an artist, an expressionist, performer and a lyricist, so I just want to contribute my art to the collection of displays that are already marking this era of man here in this American empire. Maybe someone will stumble upon this centuries from now and use it to define these moments we exist in, or maybe these lyrics will be useful right now. These are my lyrics to the BeFree OWX Remix we will be releasing next week, keep the conversations going.

Peep the song snippet before the actually whole song is released all the way at the bottom of this post.

 

 
Be Free remix
 
I begin to wonder 
What is blind justice
When all they ever seem to see is my color 
From the judges view in the courtroom
Down to the gun barrel of the police officer, so take cover
Who makes a martyr with no remorse
With no intent to murder
But use excessive force
Its like a heartless marauder being endorse by monsters
Who leave a corpse in the street like a worthless carcass?
Racism is not ignorance, it's on purpose
And what's worse is...
It's Disguised as civilized intellect, thats getting even harder to detect 
When the bigots now hide inside the beast within Big Brother's eye 
And that's what media advertise with a plot twist
Controlling images
Subliminal messages
Pillaging villages is gentrification
And capitalism is an elitist theory
No different from supremacy
It's the reason why we are still demanding equality
Doing Battle against written policies
Designed to keep the majority at the bottom of the pile
That even legalizes racial homicide
Making a mockery out of killing a child 
This is America now, kinda looking like then
Stripping the crimson off of the flag leaving it bleeding 
Because the banner was made with the wounds sown in...
To the American dream
Where the victim stands trial when they murdered him,
Taking the stand all the way from oblivion
Defending his position just to prove, he deserved to be treated as a human being
And you're mad at us, because we're angry with you, when you treat our lives like it's not worth nothing


www.AnArtKeyMusic.com
 
 
 
/
  1. BE FREE OWX REMIX SNIPPET

Femi RANDOM DriFish facts 

1. Married with Children was my favorite family sitcom growing up. I enjoyed Al Bundy so much that I wanted to have a relationship like his, where we love each other and still admit that we ain't shit.
2. I don't believe in guns either but I one day want to lose it and do a mass bow and arrow shooting with nerf arrows with hard tips.
3. I hate R& B from the 90's till present, they all sound like they're crying over pussy, for pussy or for because they gave out their pussy, yet Minnie Riperton is someone I can listen to all damn day.
4. I actually brush my teeth with salt after I brush with toothpaste.
5. I don't pick groups to be an ally to, I'm just in support of humanity regardless the form even when I don't agree with the practices as long as people aren't be preyed on or hurt or mistreated.
6. I don't have a little Richard voice but I have been accused of being asexual on more than 5 occasions by women who wanted to have sex with me.
7. I love women with pretty feet, most women I've been with have missing toes because of it *yum*.
8. I don't judge couples but I will sentence them to death because I'm really Judge Dredd.
9. I like violent pacifists, they prove that anything can happen and you can't judge a book by its cover or title.
10. BeetleJuice would win in a bikini contest fore sure, the Joker would be the second runner up after deflating the rest of the women's breasts.

FUCK THE GENRE! 


Writers block, figuring out this branding $hit, getting what you want recorded the way you want it recorded, booking shows, and the dreaded question…”what type of music do you do?”  These are just a few of the abounding frustration points that musical artists have to face.  Some are understandable and negotiable and some are just plain offensive. Regardless of how we view it, these are issues that we must face in order to proceed and succeed. The question that haunts most of us is the “how”. How do we deal with it, how do we face it? How do we find the help, the resources, the experience, and the freedom to just create and share?

Yes,there is an understanding that resources are there and the proof to the mystifying theory wrapped warmly in the statement, “if you build it, they will come”. The experienced artist would testify in the church of artistry that with consistency and work, great things can happen but let’s draw our attention to a harder question. This subject doesn’t apply to artists who know that they are specifically in a genre. When you are an artist who is influenced by, performs,records, and exemplifies multiple genres, what box do you go into? “What type of music do you do?” becomes one of the most bitter compounded questions to roll off the tongue.

It seems that the sales monster is interrogating us all with its sinister “box” of categories and genres.  To that, I say FUCK the genres!”  Creating music and sharing it with the fans is core of the business. Let the fans decide if they like what you are doing or not and if there is no genre that describes what you do, then simply call your genre by the your name (or your band name).FUCK the genre! I was particularly disturbed to see how The Recording Academy (of which I am a voting member) conveniently systematized all music that they couldn’t label into “alternative”. This organization is assumed to be in position to positively impact the lives of musicians but has failed in this simple area.

It is certain that OWX is difficult to describe as it pertains to genres however,fans & colleagues alike agree that it’s just good music and a great show.With middle fingers raised and indescribable music being shared, we say proudly confidently,

 

FUCK THE GENRE!!
Sincerely yours,
Mo Rece of The Out of Water eXpereience

Dont forget, we play a free outdoors concert, this Friday, July 11th at Center Plaza, 120 W Fayette St, Baltimore, MD 21201. from 6:30 to 8pm.


Read our latest article in the Baltimore's City Paper

Damn, this is my first blog of 2014? 

I've neglected FishFood 4 Thought since December. I told myself that at least once a month I have to say something of nutritional value or complete utter ridiculousness, and as of right now January whisked by without a peep from me. 
What has happened so far, or what have I noticed? 

          Race relations have become extremely sensitive over the last two years, and yet another man gets the favor of the law for shooting a child in Florida. This issue, annoyed me because of how blatant it was, and yet they couldn't find him guilty of second degree murder, with the manner of how it was done and what he did afterwards proving he didn't have a care in the world? 

I've been writing on it, angry scribbles here and there, not to the specific event or the Trayvon Martin incident, because none of this shit is actually new, just this generation's Emmitt Till. The problem is, that people of color are not viewed as human being to certain white folks who can't get their head out of their asses. I feel like, if the bigots feel they can profile us, then we should be allowed to feel threatened by any one of them, gun them down with the excuse that they looked like they were gonna gun us down, and that should be self defense enough. It would probably lead to anarchy, but shit whats happening out here is chaos well bottled and sold to us, and we buy it with a coupon.
Some scattered words I've written down...



          What else has been storming my mind...?
Oh yeah, we straight up had a smashing ass show in Harrisburg, PA this past Saturday night as part of the Millennium Music Conference, avalanching the Reverbnation stage. I know that we're an incredible band, if its okay to toot my own horn or smoke my own crack, but the unfortunate thing about talent is that, it takes socializing and making connections to move forward in the entertainment business, shit, I believe in any business thats what it takes. So, I'm on a path this year to be better at making connections, without being phony about it though, I only kiss the ass of the woman I'm having sex with, and only while we're doing it, dammit! Music marketing is a monster that needs to be slain or be slain by it, and I'm looking to sharpen my sword, plunge into its furry chest, then rip out its heart and take a juicy bit out of it, letting the blood pour from my mouth, dripping off of my chin onto the ground (a bit morbid am I?). 




Did I mention that the only girl in the Out of Water eXperience, Alexis Joyce is working on an album, and has released a music single for purchase? No? Well I just did, and you should go buy it to support her ventures as a soul R&B artist, even though she's a rock chick forever in my eyes. Click on this link and purchase your own mp3 download; 
Alexis new single CHAIN REACTION  

Artists such as Alexis needs support to continue what she does, we all need that support. We need the like's, the share's, the comments, AND the product/ merchandise purchases, its the only way we are able to keep it moving, especially without the big industry machine fueling us. This is how being independent works, its dependent on support of the fan soley, so if you like an artist, please support them, don't assume they have millions of sales happening, because they probably don't. I've had scenarios where someone will email or social media me, saying they loved the show and didn't buy a CD even though they wanted to purchase it, and I'm like "why didn't you just come over and grab a copy?" I don't understand it at all because, when I want something, and I have the dough on me, I buy it. No artist should be asking you to kiss their ass to buy product, anyone who makes you feel like you should, fuck em and the diseased donkey they ride on tour. 




I could rant on forever but I'm sure there is popcorn to eat, disagreements to instigate, bananas to peel and leave on floors to see if they are really slippery, fishnet condoms to pre-wear then package and sell to the highest bidder, and so on.

Unti next time, Na-noo, Na-noo
Femi the DriFish is OUT!

Happy Year Ending from us to you  

Last email of the year, our last show was last week and the last set of band pictures from the gig can be found here, FEMI THE DRIFISH & OWX PHOTOGRAPHS  
Musically we had a productive 2013. We jelled better as a band. Finally we have a mainstay family member in the form of Tony DragonWizard as our guitarist. We released the Against the Grain single as a free download and it was well downloaded. Played tons of live music club gigs, festivals as well as the concerts we threw ourselves. The work isn’t done but acknowledging some of the good moments isn’t too bad a thing to do.
As an artist doing music business, I'll be honest and say I need to step my game up and figure some things out. My personal life needs reconstructive surgery currently, but I still have the best most versatile smile in the business. We are currently still mixing the LIVE album entitled, The Out of Water eXperience, so be on the look out for it in the 2014.


 
If any of you actually read my ranting in these emails, my Fish Food 4 Thought blog on my website or follow me on facebook or twitter, know that I appreciate the time you take out to read my logic wrapped in nonsense fried in lunacy, it means a lot to me, well sorta but I’d still be like this if no one paid me attention. If you were in attendance at any or all of our performances this year, we appreciate you even though I have yet to stage dive, I promise I eventually will either throw Chuck or Alexis off the stage to test those waters before I attempt it. If you downloaded or bought physical copies of either album, thank you for supporting our eating habit, hard to kick food but I try every day by skipping meals to keep my sexy crack head figure intact. I as always appreciate my family and friends I consider my family, my band mates, my friends, those who have inspired me whether I know you personally or you’re where I aspire to be.

I'm not going to bombard you with a long email, this was just to wish you all well as a time measured moment comes to an end and a new one begins. For some it means, out with the old and in with new, for others it means, "keep the party going" whether its good or bad or being in a suspended animated procrastination state. 
 
Wishing you whatever you work hard to do in 2014.
This has been a Femi the DriFish approved message.
Thank you for listening to, watching and experiencing us in the manner that we have done for this entire run. 

www.AnArtKeyMusic.com
/
  1. Against the Grain

Give a show or get the fuck off of the Stage! 

 

Last night I attended 98Rock’s Noise in the Basement, to celebrate my homies Dreamboat Armada’s 2 year anniversary, with an awesome line up of acts that graced the stage before them. For those who aren’t familiar, Noise in the Basement is a live music show case organized by Baltimore’s radio station 97.9fm, its rock focused but all genre’s welcomes as long as you have a stage show of worth (yeah I said it). 

First of all I like to say, yes I’m a hater. I just wanted to say that first because when some of you call me one I’d have beat you to it. Let us begin… I’m a huge fan of live polished shows, passionate displays, animated movements, hard work put into an art display so FUCK YOU if your idea of grinding is posting your music online, shoot videos but your stage show is always ass wipe whack, you are part of the problem of the low standard quality we’ve had to endure from the media and industry. Secondly, this entry spawned from an awesome night of live music particularly from a band called The Last Year (wonderful show) and the epic display of Dreamboat Armada so its safe to say that however negatively this rant is taken, it came from a good expereince.
 
This FUCK YOU isn’t limited to just bands; it is to all presenting artists who communicate on stages poorly and call themselves professionals or try not to until they’re signed but have a radio hit so the crowd does their work for them. I’m the spawn of two entirely different environments: I’m currently the front man for a HipHop-Rock-Spoken Word Poetry band (you’re on my website, check out our shit) but I got my start in the spoken word poetry scene performing a capella for like 10 plus years on small open mic stages to large concert venues stages to outdoor festival stages. On occasions opening up for major artists with bands or DJs and the spoken word group I was/am in (THE 5th L) had an attitude like just because we’re the opening act and we haven't any music doesn’t mean we can’t rock that shit off the earths alignment.  So it doesn’t matter what your medium/ genre is, if you’re going to get on stage, polish your presentation and make that shit shine.
 
When I say this, I don’t mean you have to jump around on stage, it depends on what your personality displays is or what is your music or lyrics/poems are saying that determines how to express it but at least be true to you, the inner you since sometime our outside appearance doesn’t match the true you within. Sade is a great example of someone who has such an eloquent styled performance, even though it soft in delivery, it’s still very effective and impactful to the audience watching and listening as opposed to say a System of a Down performance that is high energy driven and very kinetic on stage and yet still very effective.
 
I’ve seen poets feature in the same manner they present at an open mic and I’m like what was the point of featuring if you’re going to be the main act for the night and give the audience nothing more? Some don’t even know what pieces they’re going to do until they hit the stage. You asked to a feature, had weeks to prepare, for some months, and your feature operated like you cared nothing more about your own work. This isn’t about reading off of paper; I’ve got a dude by the name of Jamaal St. John who’ll slay you reading off of paper while you deliver poems you’ve memorized. I’m saying at least appear you’ve been running your pieces so you’re familiar with them even if you’ve read them before. Eye contact with your audience matters, remember you asked to be the featured poet of the night, its fucking show time fuck your doubts and stage fright, work that shit out when you sign the open  mic. The audience is watching you first before your words impact their ears, deliver something so we remember your set and just don’t assume because its art and you’re being “Free” that the shit you spit is meaningful, that shit is played even if it’s the fucking current standard in the poetry scene (easy ass agreeable topics are for suckaz), the applause is common courtesy not a determination of how good you are.
 
My critic isn’t just for the poets but for the musical acts too. I’ve been fucking with band life unofficially for about 5 years even though my band is 3 years old and even though to some I seem new to it, I’ve been a professional performer on stages for all of my adult life so being in front of people isn’t unfamiliar to me and I’m still studying to be better and better at it. I still have my moments of doubt before I hit the mic, I still sometimes think I ain’t worth shit and want to quit but when its show time I gotta be like “fuck it and fuck my feelings” then return back to my pessimistic state upon completion of rocking the stage.


A whole lot of local and professional Hip Hop acts haven’t a clue what the fuck to do on stage, mainly because sucka emcees spend more time in the studio and around their home boys who hype them up but never test their merit on stage to learn how to interact with an audience. I can’t even fucking blame them, the Kats signed to the major labels are just as lazy; bitches put out 30 mixtapes a year when they should be performing and honing that craft but instead they do like 1 show and because the industry doesn’t care about showman ship like it does about club hits, Kats get on stage with 30 of their boys who have no purpose at all for being there then play the track with all the main vocals and adlib their song on stage like they’re the hype man to their own song? Lazy fucks don’t want to work and polish a performance because it’ll get in the way off the bitches, smoking, getting dat money on the corner life they claim to be living, Don’t get me wrong the other Hip Hop acts that are supposed to be all about the culture and shit have gotten just as lazy, I hear a lot of people complaining about some of these back packers and conscious emcees concerts being very unprofessionally executed and boring, just because its positive in content doesn't make it quality, don't let them folks fool you either.  Before the internet (yes there was a pre-internet existence some point in time after Christ was crucified then risen), A&R’s HAD to attend local Hip Hop clubs to see the next new act rock a show and that’s how Kats got signed; by their ability to command the audience in real life with their rhymes, beats and performance, back when you had to have a reputation of being an emcee before the time when selling drugs justified and certified you as an artist (what part of the game is that?)
 
The most interesting thing about live bands is that I can tell when they’re faking it unlike the women I have sex with who I can never tell they’re faking it until I realize she orgasms but I had it in her belly button the entire time, but hey somehow I jazzed in her belly button so who’s really cheating who I ask? You can see Kats posing but their eyes aren’t feeling their music, they just know the stances the other bands they saw take, so they imitate the positions and try to fix their faces to look like their into it. Some take for granted because they’re talented musicians that giving a good physical show isn’t as important as being technically correct with each note and cord, snob asses. This isn’t about rehearsing when you’re gonna jump in the air or slide on your knees, this is about being intention with your movements and body language, proving you feel the music you’re playing that you want us to feel. There are horrible, poor, good and great shows, I don’t believe there are such things as perfect shows, perfection is for those who never make it to the stage or complete an album in their infinite search for being flawless, I can’t fuck with that.  My thing is, just give it all you’ve got if you’re gonna grace the stage, learn from your mistakes and challenge yourself as a performer, entertainer, and artist. That easy agreeable shit that everyone is doing is lame regardless of how well its accepted. If you want to be remembered you've got to think epic, epic comes with a high work ethic and creativity that separates you from the bunch, it is proven by how hard it is to deliver, its honesty might even hurt you. Sometimes its rejected because its too challenging and will cause folks to think beyond their norm and doesn't fit quite right in the limited boxes society has provided, but once it hits it becomes the standard of what everyone should have been investing into their artistry,
 
 
This has been another Alternative Black Licorice Flavored Lyricist named Femi the Drifish Fish Food 4 Thought moment.
I thank you for reading and commenting.
 
Na Noo, Na Noo…

ps, we have The Out of Water eXpereince has live shows on November 23rd in York PA at New Grounds, December 6th  at Rams Head in Baltimore and our final show of the year will be Decemeber 16th at the Ottobar also here in Baltimore. Check out our calendar for Details

How real is an apology? 

After using the better part of the beginning of his career completely publicly humiliating and disowning his mother, Eminem now says he loves his mother, Debbie Mathers, and apologizes for his past disses, including "Cleaning Out My Closet." Eminem apologizes to his mother, Debbie Mathers, on "Headlights" off his upcoming album, The Marshall Mathers LP 2."I went in headfirst," Eminem raps on the track. "Never thinking about who what I said hurt / In what verse / My mom probably got it the worst / The brunt of it, but as stubborn as we are / Did I take it too far? / 'Cleaning Out My Closet' and all them other songs / But regardless, I don't hate you 'cause ma / You're still beautiful to me, 'cause you're my mom."


Now I'm a huge fan of Eminem, more so his 1st thru 4th albums than his current stuff but he's still to me among the dopest creative wordsmiths to spit it. If any of you reading are aware of his earlier work from The Slim Shady LP, The 1st Marshal Mathers album, the Eminem Show or even Encore, then you know how this guy used to go off on katz. No one was safe from a Slim Shady verbal acrobatic creative onslaught in his rhymes and songs, not Cannibus, Everlast, Ja Rule, Miriah Careyz, not his wife/ex-wife/ mother of his children (till this day I can't listen to the song KIM without falling into the emotional state of being that that song expresses), and of course not even his own mother. I'm all for venting, I personally believe it saves lives and keeps the suicide and mass shootings count low but the way he'd go in on his mother dismantling her character in such creative amusing angry manner, I would have never had thought that 10 plus years later he'd be apologizing. I'm not even saying she should be off limits, she might have been the worst mother ever for all we know and his music was the venue he legitimately use as a vehicle to expose what he thought of her or what he believed she was. Songs like My Mom, Cleaning Out My Closet and many others along with references in other songs that weren't specifically about her but he still took shots with vicious insults at her. I think its humble to apologize in a song so publicly especially when someone like Eminem will sell millions of records, but I wonder if he has called her to discuss what they've both put each other through or is this apology as far as he's able to go?
Apologies to me are for mistakes, when you weren't paying attention,didn't know something, stumble and domino effected some shit, broke something or hurt someone unintentionally. Apologies are hard to receive when the action is well calculated and intentional even if you think about it years later and figure out that wasn't the best way to handle it, you've already set fire to the house and killed everyone, metaphorically. Just like racist statements caught on tape or politicians sending dick pics to chicks then issue an apology to public that the masses are satisfied with when the action was intentional not mistaken, so why apologize and why do we accept the apology?
I'm not saying one can't come back from heinous acts, I believe its way more than just the words, its about the actions and how consistent you are to show you're better than what you were with such behavior, and if triggered you don't return back to the old practices, that's how you prove to yourself and others that you've changed. 
Screaming freedom of speech is cool, being emotional is what comes with being human, being sensible about what you say and sorting out your emotions to know whats real and whats unresolved in you so you don't end up doing or saying some vile venomous vengeful shit then feeling regretful 10, 20, 50 years later just shows that you care for more than your own existence and the immediate moment you're in.

This has been a Fish Food 4 Thought with your favorite Alternative Black Licorice Flavored Lyricist, Femi the Drifish

A Band Called Death... 

I watched this documentary on Netflix earlier today, I think its very inspiring for music fans and musicians to watch and see the strength of a bond among 3 brothers and music. Before Bad Brains, the Sex Pistols or even the Ramones, there was a band called Death. Punk before punk existed, three teenage brothers in the early '70s formed a band in their spare bedroom, began playing a few local gigs and even pressed a single in the hopes of getting signed. But this was the era of Motown and emerging disco. Record companies found Death’s music— and band name—too intimidating, and the group were never given a fair shot, disbanding before they even completed one album. Equal parts electrifying rockumentary and epic family love story, A Band Called Death chronicles the incredible fairy-tale journey of what happened almost three decades later, when a dusty 1974 demo tape made its way out of the attic and found an audience several generations younger. Playing music impossibly ahead of its time, Death is now being credited as the first black punk band (hell...the first punk band!), and are finally receiving their long overdue recognition as true rock pioneers.

If you have Netflix check out the documentary and then go to their website,
www.ABandCalledDeath.com to purchase their album to show support. When I decided to call our website AnArtKeyMusic, it was a play on the word Anarchy (obviously) as well as to reflect the type of band that we are, nothing about what we do is about fitting in and A Band Called Death is an example of that as well as committed to it.

Feeling stagnant in that Nigerian open gutter way... 

Writing new shit about myself is pointless when the old shit about myself is still so current. A conversation with my bro-ham Davey Crocket clearly indirectly informed me that eventually moments catch up and surpass you when once you were believing you were ahead of your time. Below is an old writing that probably always best describes me if you can add whats written to the words unwritten.

These are my lyrics from THE 5th L's title track, The Water Margin

Sometimes I feel like I'm forever overflowing
Drowning in my own emotions
My cold heart frozen
Turning my blood from liquid to solid in an instant
An iceburg within my chest beating
Spirit with a hairline fracture
Within I'm cracked like windshields tapped
Soul shattered into a million shards
My falling pieces carries baggage
Holding grudges like my wallet
Keeping plenty of regrets in my back pocket
Sinking lower than self pity
HYE! I throw rice at weddings in attempts to injure the party
Wearing a mask to conceal my identity
Been wasting so much energy blocking out the negative
Nothing good ever gets in
Lying to myself so often I fake it during masturbation 
I just can't hold it in
So I put my arteries in a blender
Pour out my heat on stage
With a Carey type rage
Sharp blade with range
Spilling ink that speaks joys and pains
Drawing tears then put it in a frame
Like rain drops illustrated
I'm a rebel without a basis
Kicked out of purgatory since I wouldn't repent
Now reside in limbo doing the limbo until the apocalypse
Started at the top of this
Worked hard to reach the bottom of this barrel
Failing at panhandling CD's & Books 
Yet entertaining strangers with no hassle
Open mic venues turn menstrol shows
Poets are the new age sambos
I'm in love with poetry like black folks love to hate some shit
At the same time I hate poetry 
Yet like dee-dee in Dextor's laboratory I just can't help it
I'm sinking deep in this
While the audience is enjoys my misery
An I know that the quick sand in my life is ME.

I swear I was moved to write this after listening to Masta Ace's Dear Diary:

FEMROIDISMS: Shit Femi Says

I'm a disappointment to my father, who is a disappointing father that measures me by standards he didn't even live up to.

Tu-Pac was wrong, Honeydew melon is the sweetest thing next to pussy, not revenge.

I wanna open up a grief counseling center for the families of deceased video game characters. No one considers that millions and millions of goons, henchmen, war soldiers and evil ninjas have love ones that care for their well beings, and hope you're killed on the first board every time you play.

Have you ever watch someone so poorly take 30 years to parallel park a car in a big ass space, that you wanted to carjack em, correctly park the car for them, do you civic duty and revoke their drivers license and set it on fire, then have their car towed to the junk yard to be destroyed?

When a couple claims that they are meant to be together but they're not siamese or conjoined, I call them liars.

True love is finding the courage to tell her that you're a serial killer and her response is, "You Too???!?!?!"

Just saw what appeared to be a high school boy with his button up tucked into his underwear, seemingly because his pants were sagging way too low past his ass for his shirt to reach his trousers but still wanted to look neat. We've come a long way, only to be further away from what makes sense.

Do men with beards still expect women to shave for the same reasons why men without beards appreciate women who do shave?

Every time someone prays for me I get a burning sensation in my spirit, almost as if I'm being exorcised from this host body I abducted.

No more will I harass women by saying, "damn! You got a phat ass!". From this day forth I will say, "miss, your bottom meets my certain specifications"

Please, if you're outside tonight make sure you're wearing your moon block so you don't get moon burn.

When elders press me talking about, "Femi, you should find a woman and marry, you should find a wife, and have more children", I'm like do you know how miserable I will be if I got married and had children to satisfy anyone other than myself? I mean if they sponsored my marriage, maintained my wife's happiness, sponsored and took care of my children then maybe I might not be as miserable, but it'd still fuck with me that I got married and had children at the request and to appease others, then I'd develop an Angel Dust habit to take away that pain.

Sometimes I'm on some rock shit, sometimes I'm on some Hiphop shit, sometimes I'm on some spoken word poetry shit, sometimes I'm on some shit, sometimes I'm the shit, sometimes I ain't shit.

I had a dream last night that a little girl offered me her stuffed monkey and I rejected it then told her that when I was young I would be forced to fight monkeys to the death in steel cages. She looked sad then asked how many monkeys I had killed, I told her none then started laughing because I was dead.

Opinions are like assholes because... some assholes need to be sown up shut so they can stay full of shit until they explode and it rains brown snow flakes.

Sometimes I'm on some rock shit, sometimes I'm on some Hiphop shit, sometimes I'm on some spoken word poetry shit, sometimes I'm on some shit, sometimes I'm the shit, sometimes I ain't shit.

One day I'll share a home with a woman or a dinosaur, and at night we will retire to our bedroom as a loving couple where she will kiss me and say "good nite lord emperor despot of the galaxy" (her pet name for me), and I'll snuggle behind her in the sack then whisper loudly in her ear, "rest. in. peace my beast." (Since clearly I'm the beauty) in the same manner the Undertaker would say it, then my eyes will roll in the back of my head showing only whites and she would totally love the sentiment and how accurately I want her to peacefully rest in her slumber. Speakingshitintoexistence.

When I'm offered coffee in meetings, I always say "no thank you, I don't do drugs". Then I break out my whiskey canteen from my spurred boot, take a swig and shiver when it burns good in my chest.

Sometimes I wonder what level of hell will my soul reside in for all the times I scrolled past posts that instruct me to type "amen".

Wes Craven should rest in peace, he is not the type of haunting spirit we need roaming the earth.

As romantic as a forehead kiss is, it's really just someone trying to tell you that your breath stinks and that's why they didn't kiss you on the lips.

If I should die before I wake, make sure Grover from the Muppets Show plays me in the biopic action comedy porno thriller fictional story about my real life.

When aliens come to invade this planet, they won't care about race, shade, shape, sexual orientation, financial status or gender while they eat us. We're all fucking human and we are delicious.

HipHop observation: any time an emcee mentions a javelin in a rhyme, it's always traveling then ends up aimed to impale someone in the abdomen.
This has been a HipHop observation, thank you.

Life is what you make it, after you make it out of what the hand you've been dealt created.

When I spank the monkey, beat my meat, & choke the chicken, please note that no animals were harmed during the process.

Chicks be like, "I don't do this often so consider yourself special if I do this for you"
I be like, "well this happens pretty damn often for me so don't consider what you do special for me just because it's special for you"

I like to impress women with what I've really done with my life when I first meet them by bragging that I own over 15 thousand comic books, and my name is on a plaque at an Irish pub for drinking 100 Guinness. I figure folks can't usurp the throne I've built for myself with such accomplishments.

No such thing as coincidence makes me feel like I'm destiny's bitch when I'm not that faithful to fate to put the cost of my free will at stake.

I've seen black kettles and I call those kettles black.

Thinking everything is a conspiracy is also a conspiracy.

De La Soul is great sunny day driving music but it's also horrible stripper music.

Sometimes we mistake a bruised ego for a broken heart.

If no one ever recognizes you for the good you do then keep doing the good you do unless the good you do is all for recognition then fuck you.

JUNETEENTH was when the Emancipation Proclamation was issued and it was sent via email to the south on dial up in a wifi world.

The film The Chronicles of Narnia was subliminally all about coming out the closet, well it's literally about going into a closet then coming out of the other side of the closet.

I like vegan ice cream cake because it's made without the spilling of blood or meat from dead animals carcass unlike the regular ice cream cakes.

The selfie stick was originally created to beat people with who take a lot of selfies but then the people who take selfies got a hold of it.

Too many hashtags, too many selfies and not enough faceshots

Three full size deer were in front of my house when I pulled up and the first thought that came to mind when I got out the car and they didn't scatter was, "there ain't been a fair fight since the creation of crews, I'm bout to get jumped by bambi's".

When folks say to me, "I can't make the show but I'll be there in spirit", that's when I go to the show with ghostbusters proton pack and trap. I don't play that poltergeist shit.

The wind blew so hard just now that I almost had a Mariyln Monroe dress showing my panties moment. Mind you, I'm wearing pants and sitting in a car.

Don't hate Valentines day because you're lonely. You were alone yesterday and will be tomorrow, and that would mean you hate everyday. Hate valentines day because it's stupid.

SonSun: "dad you're not weird, you're normal in your own way, and I am too"
Me: no kid you're weird.

No such thing as coincidence makes me feel like I'm destiny's bitch when I'm not that faithful to fate to put the cost of my free will at stake.

One day I will propose to a woman, and when I leave that ring around her bathtub she'll know what a true romantic gesture is.

The movie Set It Off sends a message to bank robbers that there is honor among thieves. Dear bank robbers, watch Reservoir Dogs for a more accurate reference.

With all this shit happening you still have to live, love and laugh, that's what we're fighting for or else this life isn't worth living.

Almost got Jacked by a wetwork crew of girls who have a hit out on a dude who cheated on one of their homegirls. Case of mistaken identity, besides I don't look like I'm sexy enough to juggle 12 girlfriends, 11 maybe but 12 is just insane.

When your talent is tied to your hunger, what happens when you start to eat well?

I want the Muppet Show's Grover to play me in the movie action thriller romance comedy adventure story about my life. I'm saying it out loud, putting it in the air, Jean-Luc Picard make it so.

Walked into band practice an hour early and got a warm meal; spaghetti, meatballs and shrimp. If I wasn't so heterosexual I'd wife
Mo Rece ... well I probably still could but we'd have to have a strict no sex rule like real married couples do.

People will say, "god don't make ugly" but always making beautiful analogies using butterflies never moths.

My insomnia keeps me up longer than erectile dysfunction being fixed with viagra.

Smile. There are way too many folks "trying" to look sexy and tough, but how about just looking happy? Spread the teachings of The Joker. 

Don't love me until you hate my guts and still like me

Sometimes I stop believing in myself, and that's when I find out that I'm a figment of my own imagination. Gotta pinch myself to see if I'm real. 

When I ask you let me know when you've made it home safely after we part ways, it's not because I care. I do it because I want to see if the ninja assassins I hired actually did their job, so if you do make it home safely, I get a full refund plus 17%. 

somewhere in your obsession is your lost passion spilled over, flooding outside of the boarders, filling up until you're possessed, while the little voice in your head is louder than your common sense.

I once made love out of sand and left it on the beach, wonder if it's still there?

I'm unorthodox, not eccentric, there's a difference.

Y'all worry too much about being attractive and being liked that you produce no substance just hype.

‎insanity is determined by the relative quantity while the quality of relatives is based off of incest.

I'm a snork among smurfs

if you're in love with someones potential, then you're in love with the ghost of what you want them to be; kinda silly.

the most unfortunate thing about sex is that its really good when you're not supposed to be doing it.

never trusts A big butt and a smile, give me an obese anorexic chick with a tongue ring and four teeth, hope she's not contagious cause i sure don't wanna be bulimic. 

A sheep in wolf's clothing is worse than a wolf in sheep clothing

I'm working. Pen and pad check, room full of virgin whores check, bonsai trees to smoke but not inhale check, 3 lines of cherry coke snorted check, oooooh year hot 16's divided by 4's and shit everywhere.

used to be feminist but I was kicked out because of my male Chauvinist ways so now I'm just Femi

would like tea party members tea bagged.

steal a kiss and never give it back, wipe away your love one's tears then erase their face with that, while you're at it and never pay for "me luv U long time" unless its a happy ending that lasts forever.

 is lost in thought; current location unknown.

 if you can't find a good man it's because they're hiding so to ensure their survival and they're probably waiting on a compatible woman that ain't you.

why in the hell would anyone be scared of clowns, I know women who wear way more makeup.

is not a complete asshole, some parts are missing so I fill those voids with oxi-morons because those are the best kind of morons.

will cause bleeding, chronic coughing, diarrhea, hepatitis A-Z without vowels, 3rd nipple growth, claw marks, teeth puncture holes in flesh to see you smile again.

girl, it's just the way you look at me, the way you smile, your gentle touch, the way you walk in that dress, your peekaboo cleavage, those legs that go all the way up to your neck that just brings out the 4th grader in me, punch buggy no punch back!!

is working on some shit, diarrhea don't fail me now

I'm only interesting with the less you know, I'm more than an illusion than a hoax, smile to fools those taking notes, die angry haunt this world as a homicidal ghost, terrify my love ones to prove I'm no joke, exist in the underworld releasing words that floats, then sail off and burn into the sunset like Viking funeral boats.

‎I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add.

my father probably had daddy issues just like I do, never wanted to be like him but the extreme opposite is also a bad thing, I've fallen so far from the tree I'm on it's other side close by.

didn't get what I wanted today but didn't know what I wanted so I didn't get it.

I like to take long romantic walks on burning coal, give a woman a flesh eating Venus flytrap on a first date and watch how her cute ass fights for her life then will take her out on the pale white horse to the last supper. This is what you should expect on a date with the SEXY BEAST

believes in immaculate conception and that's why the women on the Maury Povich show can't ever figure out who the baby daddy is regardless of the gallons of semen from the tons if men they let inside them.

yesterday I was being an ass, today I'll be an asshole, then tomorrow I'm shitting on everyone

Head in the clouds, killed by a passing jumbo jet 747

Sweet dreams are the number one cause of rotting teeth.

I watch porn because I like to see women properly pleasure and still get off without having to do the work.

I once had a one night stand on one night stand, how you ask? Balance

If I were a kool aid flavor, I'd be licorice

When think about my maturity, I think of the child in me and then I think maybe I should have chewed instead, cause this kid is still alive and kicking.

I'm not immortal, don't waste my time like I am

Love is such a strong word to use when half the time I hate you and the other half of the time you hate me

I play the electric square triangle in my band but they keep my instrument silent on all the recordings

People who consider themselves deep should be buried in a shallow grave to help define the word irony

...its not that I'm impotent. I just don't want to use my own penis to have sex with you and thats why I'm wearing a strap on.

We've been fighting for race equality, women's liberation, gay marriages, but what about the necrosexuals right to sleep with the dead with the deceased consent.

I take showers in pesticide so fly girls don't bug me

I'm the missing member of One Direction who went the other way, and thats why I was never heard of.

Whenever I see either painting or illustrations of God, in every single art work they get God's chin, ear, eyes and beard wrong. That ain't no fucking God!

If you want a man to love you for your mind then date a zombie, most men are cannibals ready to eat your whole body.

My greatest achievement this week so far is no streaks in my draws. Hoping to close out the week without stains I can't get out.

We're all loony in one way or another, so what do you have to bargain with to make your crazy tolerable once the high of the initial attraction wears off?

Finding someone to have sex with isn't hard, it finding good company you want keep after you bust a nut thats hard

I hate snow, and not that type of hate that is really jealousy, then snow becomes successful in life from my hate. I'm talking about, if snow was a person, I would alway make him/her yellow snow unload my bladder every time I see them type of hate.

There are no rules once the rules are broken.

Nelson Mandela has lived for, suffered for, represented for, been responsible for so many people for his entire life and still found a way to fully live more than the majority of us. This entire year he's been struggling with life, health and body deteriorating and I can't front, I'm glad his suffering has ended and now he's at peace

True love is two drug addicts holding hands on a bus stop nodding together.

How I know I'm a fake Nigerian? When a traditional dish is prepared for me and it has meat with more bone than meat in it, unlike most "omo naija" folks who would find away to eat the meat even if it means they eat the bone, I just decide to be a vegetarian for that one particular meal then wait until I can get a steak or burger later or some bacon.

Started out my day with a thumbs down, let's see if I can end the day with a raised middle finger in the air.

Michonne on Walking Dead is an example of being a Beauty and a Beast. Darryl on Walking Dead is an example of what I'm looking for in a baby daddy.

People still getting trampled on Black Friday? WTF is wrong with people, and that includes the person who gets trampled not just the running of the bulls herd pretending to be human beings.

I'm thankful for burgundy m&m's, they taste the best. I'm gonna spend my day lobbying government buildings in protest until they bring them back.

I'm thankful for sour cream as suitable replacement for whip cream to lick off of a woman's body during those yummy moments.

Unicorns having sex with machines is my new wet dream.

Love is not a leap of faith, you have to prove it.

I'm a Nigerian snob and British cheeky bastard.

When they are laughing at you, might as well laugh along with them, then they'll probably stop laughing because they're really insecure thinking you're laughing at them.

Defining yourself as a "hopeless" romantic kinda defines why your love life is a constant failure. Wouldn't hopeful be the correct term?

After God forbade man/woman to eat from the forbidden tree and then we straight defied that one rule, God then saideth unto us, "thou shalt not have thy cake and eateth that cake too" and that is the origin of the senseless saying, "you can't have your cake and eat it too". I found it in the lost pages of the Bible from the unknown book of Tupac, chapter 45, verse 7.

Where do babies come from?
They come from a place where folks stop drop and roll technique fail them before they can pull out and skeet in the fish tank. Mostly because that sex maneuver was originally intended to quench out the blazed when you set yourself on fire.

If you woke up today, you either survived the abortion, or took form after being flushed down the toilet, or invaded the egg leaving the rest of the sperms that couldn't make it before you dead and because of this I bid a morbid good morning to you all.

Femi in skinny jeans? I prefer not wearing any pants at all and just have one of those soft porn blurs around my fuzzy dice area.

When my taco meat starts to grow I pray its 100% angus beef , women like when a man is meaty.

I do my own stunts and I'm a stand in for crash test dummies.

need a clip on beard since I can't grow one

Man honesty isn't always misogyny, know the difference, stop getting so defensive because you hear something you don't like even though its true.

Taking selfies are the failed suicide attempts of shooting yourself in the face.

All you need is someone who see's the psycho in you and still likes you anyway, and that's when you reject them for liking psychos.

Shit is rough right now for me y'all, I'm trying to raise money for a surgery to have my testicles replaced with fuzzy dice. If you can spare any money please do, its one of 93 important things I want done in my life.

I can't tell the difference between Listerine and Whiskey

Sooooooooooooooo... I'm chest bumping women from now on instead of hugging and chopping them at the back of the knee

Dear bad guys, stop making explosive devices with different color wiring, it makes it possible to disarm them.
sincerely yours, a concerned citizen and advocate for super villains

I was that kid that didn't want to be like those people who are annoying and didn't know it, so I decided to be annoying on purpose.

Random black guy wanted to help, he helped some zombie get fed by being its food. Let's give it up for idiot guy with a drinking problem.
#walkingdead

Weird, they sell cell phones by promoting how well the camera works and not the quality service of the phone itself.

I just had to watch a 2 and a half minute movie trailer as a commercial to watch a minute and twenty-six seconds movie trailer of my selection

I'M A HANDFUL... I rob old ladies for their pantie hoes. Steal hearts by plunging my hand into their chests, running off into the black of the night, leaving behind a bloody trail in my wake. I leave the toilet seat up so women can fall in then I remember to flush. I'm the one pump champion more successful than the 3 minute brother and sometimes I get off way before anything gets started, I'm Carl Lewis like that. I find joy by being a FEMROID, a pain in your ass, an asshole who ain't shit and yet I'm still the shit. If you can't handle me at my best then you don't deserve my better than best

wake up with adrenaline, all my teeth showing forming a devilish grin, batman eyes no pupils in em, trapped inside cackling witches locked in my wicked mind, I hate looking for the words to rhyme, I'd rather be ridiculous with meaning, been awake since 4am, good morning, let the new day begin.

What is Drake doing that Janelle Monae isn't doing? Dude sells almost 700K first week and she sells 80K first week. Is Drake that much more of an appealing woman than Janelle?

Ladies, have you ever had a man so romantic that when you came home he had rose peddles all the way from the front door leading upstairs to the bathroom, floating in a tub fill with hot bath water with lit candles everywhere, and what came to your mind was, "who's gonna clean this shit up, why are you wasting my water, don't you know candles are a fire hazard, who the fuck are you and how the fuck did you get in my house?". True love knows no boundaries.

Funerals are always sad, I always try to smile thinking I'm sure the deceased wouldn't want all these tears of sadness. I'd want tears of happiness, laughter, memories of no regrets and y'all better come in costume and play my favorite music no matter how offensive it is.
Anyway, today a bunch of us are going to be saying that final good bye to Kris Moore, or is it, I'll see you later?

I'm an anal dick asshole who ain't shit and yet still the shit

Do you know how hard it is for me to give a compliment that isn't followed by an insult? Do you know that the insult is probably a compliment in disguise and the compliment is a compliment in disguise but dressed in drag to make everyone think its a man dress up as a woman? Yeah, I keep shit crazy, like my ass cheeks in a straight jacket with foam coming out from in between whenever I break wind.

I wish I had a wishing well
I'd wish all my dreams come true till I'm overwhelmed
I'd wish for all the love in the world
I'd wish until my wishes turn to hell

tuesday, I got to kick it and shoot the shit with a friend of mine, thinking we all still have all the time. Wednesday he was still here with us within his physical form although unfortunately unresponsive but I'm sure he could hear our good words. Today, Kris Moore has moved on leaving behind good experiences with the people he loved and who loved him. Captain, you'll be missed, 37 years old is still too soon but even if you were 95 it'd still be too soon, respect.

Its that time of the year where you check to see who is more fine, you or wine... fuck wine! Happy birthday Amy

A friend of mine isn't doing well right. I find myself appreciating being alive at the same time wondering why am I alive at the same time. I hate that I'm reflective selfishly like this when someone else using all they have to breath, sleep and hope each following day that they're able to open their eyes.

I find irony in seeing the Headless Horseman looking down at his own head in a pickle jar.

I'm changing my name to Lil Yung A$AP, then start a rap career and tell everyone how original I am

All my favorite women and most women I'm attracted to are bohemian, flower children, and free spirits and as unconventional against the grain as I am, it seems that we are definitely not compatible at all outside of them being chained to by basement wall.

I had to explain the concept & importance of voting to my SonSun today, which caused for me to pretty much have to give a lecture on the history of mankind and what I think of humanity in all its fucked upness. It sucks that as much as I want the best, I have the worst outlook of this planet.

I do music, scream lyrics, write poetry, model fishnet condoms and river dance in strip clubs in dashiki thongs because I can't afford a drug habit and to raise money for a pair of unicorn skin pants.

The people will love you/ Never realizing it's the dark side too that makes you so lovable/ Including everything you've held tight and fumbled/ all they know is how you make them feel when they struggle

As long as you don't age like rasins and keep the wine looking good, happy birthday

I'd appreciate the love from a woman who will rip the head off of a rose, eat its petals, squeeze the stem letting the thorns prick her hand causing her pain as she bleeds from the encounter, and she still calls the rose beautiful.
It's not about what it looks like, it's all about what it is

I hate when folks say, "may god strike me down if I'm lying", like this is the Old Testament. Quit being so blatantly blasphemous and just ask the person you're lying to, to strike you down with a pterodactyl drum stick.

Sometimes I put maxi pads with wings on my back so I can feel like an angel, then call myself The Moth: the butterfly who never gets love.

I use sexual inuendos to make folks uncomfortable, be grotesque or clever/witty and not for flirting. I believe flirting is the #1 reason why folks end up blacking out, then waking up in a cage in some strangers basement covered in black tar (as opposed to pink tar), showered in rhinoceros feathers without knowing WTF happened. My basement is getting full y'all, lets keep the flirting to how I like it and not how you like it because I'm low on black tar.

A pair of socks goes into the dryer and only one comes out. Its like a divorce takes place during the tumbling then a death battle where only the victor emerges. Where the fuck is that other sock?

I just witnessed the new sexy: women in heels, business short and blouse riding a ten speed bycycle. I would have stalked her but running behind a woman riding a bike just would ensure I lose the stalker of the year title.

Die twice, live once and be destroyed as many times as you're able to reconstruct yourself.

I've learned that if you trust no one then you'll always live in fear

Stupid black clitoris sensitive intellectuals say Miley Cyrus's twerking is offensive and racist to black folk, but don't find it offensive & degrading when black women are twerking in videos, on YouTube, all over the place. This twerking shit is what you want to proudly claim with honor and want some respect from? You can have it, I'm changing my race to alternative black cause y'all on some bullshit.

Choosing "The lesser of two evils" is like saying torture is more acceptable than murder, when people being tortured beg for death, and people being killed plead for their life.

In the business of arts/entertainment and our personal lives, love goes unnoticed these days when the focus is on the haters who become the publicists to gain achievements. Stop giving a fuck on who doesn't like you and focus on those who actually care about you and what you do, that is your audience.
This has been a Francois EL LA Poo-Poo PSA

Hash tagging just made sense to me just now and now I'm enlightened, a lot of y'all hash tags make no sense.

This goes out to all the folks who have trust issues and know it. Don't even trust their own asses, scared to even fart in fear they my shit themselves. I salute you all as I'm on my way down town to show y'all how I do my shit, diarrhea don't fail me now.

Talking to Marc Marcel on the phone today (still chatting now) and we fell into discussion about what would our 10 year old selves think of us now? Marc's 10 year old self would find him weird and probably try to advert the future he's to become. My 10 year old self would be like, "YO! YOU'VE GOT A SHIT LOAD OF COMIC BOOKS! My future is bright as fuck!"

Confession: I get irritated by positive uplifting statements that just sound good and pretty but aren't applicable in real life at all. If further confirms that we'd prefer a pretty lie over the reality as the ugly truth. The realism that might even seem pessimistic is at least a real place to start the repair work, as oppose to the fantasy that has us thinking shit just overcomes itself and time makes all things better. Hope, wishing and prayer doesn't do a thing without solid willful proactive effort behind it.

I hate when people say "you need to forgive and forget, you need to get over it". If Bruce Wayne had that attitude there would be no Batman so shut up with all the leg go shit and let me have my revenge & vengeance.

"Back in Africa, we were all kings and queens". No we"ALL" weren't, stop saying that shit. Francois EL LA Poo-Poo hath spoken

All this talk of following your dreams and shit, but are you making your wet dreams come true too instead of peeing in the bed? Stop neglecting your wet dreams or risk drowning where you sleep in a pool of sharks and shit.

women who wear dresses with the elastic above the belly under the breast...it makes y'all look pregnant so I'm a ask and if that's rude, but its also rude to look pregnant when you're not. Francois EL LA Poo-Poo hath spoken

The real work starts after the hype, the high, when shit gets hard and this is applicable for life, relationships, sex and matters of the heart.

My wit is my humor, my humor is my sarcasm, my sarcasm is my social commentary, my social commentary are my poems/rhymes and also the way I speak.

Kats be like, "don't judge me by my past" but then I'd have to also forget the good shit you've done if that's the case since you don't want me to remember the bad. I'd have to treat you like I don't know you and if I don't know you then I don't trust you. We are the sum of our experiences, the good the bad and the shit you hope no one ever finds out.

I need an app that gives me more time on my short term memory and make my long term memory to be permanent instead of series of multiple choices that all seem to be incorrect.

Teach children to address themselves in third person, that's how they'll grow up feeling superior

Reevaluating what I am when who I am is based off of all the what's and who's I don't want to be.

Press release writing is for the birds and I'm a bat.

There are a lot of times where doing the right thing gets no love as opposed to doing the wrong thing that gets all the attention and props and still you should do the right thing even when it hurts when doing the worst these days is celebrated.

I wonder if the holograms for Tu-Pac, Easy E and ODB still get groupies after shows who try to give them the ass in hopes to get pregnant by them?I wonder if the holograms for Tu-Pac, Easy E and ODB still get groupies after shows who try to give them the ass in hopes to get pregnant by them?

Fact: fishnet condoms do not capture or trap seamen, they're meant for only modeling the penis and not for intercourse.

women like what they hear, men like what they see and we both have a tendency to ignore the content that we are supposed to pay attention to

Its common knowledge for no smoking on the plane but a full grown adult needs to be told that she can't paint her nail or remove polish from her nail when all the air in here is all we have, the whole flight stinks of nail polish toxins. Why we can just throw her off the plane in mid air for being so self-centered and selfish

Be ambiguous, you'll become a myth and people will make up shit about you because your past is a variable of multiple choice scenarios. That how one becomes great.

Complimenting folks with insults takes skill and I am that talented. Insulting folks with compliments takes sarcasm and I am that sarcastic

Magically I made science happen today mistakenly and it all came together like a couple climaxing during intercourse.

If booby traps were made out of real boobies I'd happily be capture. Until then, I'll dodge and avoid these razor sharp steel clamp bear traps.

The reality is, I really think I'm a 2 dimensional cartoon character living in a 4th dimension world occasionally breaking the 4th wall to communicate with the people watching us for entertainment.

There's a pill you can take to better improve your losing memory but it only works if you can remember to take it

Is it creepy to say Rest in Peace instead of good night?

Killing a mosquito drunk off of your blood is like killing your own family

The internal war is between being passionate and what makes sense

There should be no regrets if you had the best intentions because there's nowhere to run when you have it coming.

I usually feel good knowing that a friend of mine makes it home safely after leaving my place, it means I get a refund from the killer ninjas I sent to get them before they got home; #divineintervention

Odd Future should be cast for the American version of Attack the Block.

Paranormal 5 should have Ghost Busters in it, that series is on some ole bullshit.

I really don't give a fuck, fail a drug tests not cause I'm high, because I can't aim My pee In the cup..

Young love makes me sick but I respect the shit out of old love. The problem here is that I can't stomach feeling sick until young love gets old enough for me to respect it even when I'm in it

French manicures and pedicures always remind me of strippers and pornstars.

Its too hot to be wearing that much make up, you're gonna scare clowns and give them womanmeltingface phobia.

Seemingly we don't like to be held to the things we've done and do unless they make us look good but always want to be held to a potential we can't even prove.

We're too trendy and trends are too momentarily and that's what is expected of us.

There is no such thing as fashion do's and don't's, just the bold who don't give a fuck what you think and the insecure beautiful who need validation from the approval of others to justify their appearance.

When a bee stings you it dies, that's some suicide bomber type shit.

I once took a shit so hard that I needed epidural to survive it. It was kinda like TuPac's "this is the realest shit I ever wrote" except it was "the realest shit I ever took" instead

Feelings are real but they will also distort the perception of reality

I realize that I don't forgive and forget even though I move on and accept

What if every time autocorrect adjusts what you write it's really someone trapped being held hostage somewhere hacking random phones trying to send a message hoping to get help? Ghost in the machine.

why am I a sexy beast you ask?? ROAAAAAWGRRRAAAA!!! prrrrrrr.... Is my answer; thank you and no more questions until I've finished eating my vegitarians, they eat right so I don't have to.

Fellas, when was the last time you were a gentleman, told a lady how pretty she is and opened the car door for a her because you wanted her to get in first incase the mob had your vehicle wired to explode?

Being the sexy beast that I am, you get a lot of hate cause folk jelly of the bed of fur on my belly, my razor sharp teeth that I use to tear into cute furry woodland creatures as they scream in agony... My tusks and hoofs; I don't need shoes and when I run into you its all that and then some..... 

ya want the spoils but want to avoid the hardship that comes with it?

 some men will fake a relationship just for some ass, some women will fake casual sex in hopes to secure a relationship and some how these two types always seem to get together.

is still rounding up signatures for my petition against the wicked people who say "it was love at first sight", this statement discriminates against the blind who have to feel each other up in order to find love.

need someone to steal my identity, pay my bills, fix my debt, take my wife, claim my kids and I'll just deal with the pressure and hardship of being off the grid.

 ‎this is just a test if the emergency broadcast Femi system this is just a test, if this were a real emergency you'd be attacked by a vicious grizzly bear while you're on the toilet doing a number 3

will for the right price stalk your stalker.

‎it's really nice outside and I'm feeling good enough to bring misery company willingly

has a face thats as smooth as a baby's butt cheek.... with diaper rash.

FUCK BUFFALO WINGS for not being made from real buffalo with wings, Jessica Simpson wasn't being dumb the person who named them was just stupid.

FUCK YOU if you've ever written or texted, "ROFLMAO" cause you lying about rolling on the floor

FUCK INDEPENDENT WOMEN who are always complain about how hard it is to find a compatible mate; you're supposed to be alone when you spend all your time bragging about how independent you are.... and I don't believe you, you're probably just covering up some insecurity or blister on your lip.

FUCK YOU if you answer personal ads for platonic relationships.

‎show me a person that's normal and I'll prove to you that you just don't know them very well.

thinks everyone should go hard even if you come up limp; tie two sticks around it then keep going hard until you get it in.